Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
