? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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