And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
