We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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