i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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