The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
