they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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