So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
