did you get engaged???
Do vagina's smell?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
