We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
