I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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