dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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