Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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