Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
