Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
