im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
