people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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