I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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