Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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