is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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