her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
