he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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