If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
