It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
