may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
