Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I want her autograph on my taint
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
