Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
