Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't deserve a penis
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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