I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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