I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
