I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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