I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
