Will you blow on my dice?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
