my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
