the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
