she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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