i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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