Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It's never too late to be topless.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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