What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
