need another drink. this is the easiest way
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
