SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
