the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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