Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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