Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
