The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
