no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
