I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
