Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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