shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
