is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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