I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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