You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
