im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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