i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
